Once Upon a Time.

Whine to your heart's consent.


The rambles of a teenager's life who later becomes a college student.

view:  full / summary

A move, a move, and a move

Posted on August 30, 2014 at 6:05 PM Comments comments (0)

So I suppose I owe a description of where and why I have moved over the past eight or so months. So, as I mentioned in an earlier post my parents had to move in with my grandparents because our landlord stopped paying the mortgage so we were going to be evicted. Then, we moved in March to a house my parents bought that wasn't too far from where I was living before I moved in with my grandparents. I stayed there until July, when I moved on my own into my own apartment in Dayton. It was nice, but it didn't last too long because now I am in a Dorm in Cincinnati.

I moved to the apartment in Dayton because I got on to a TV show (which I'll talk about in another post) and it was necessary that I tell my parents that I was gay before it came out. It was basically the perfect opportunity. My friends had an apartment whose lease was up at about the time that I needed to move to my dorm, and they were tired of living there. So I just kind of took over the lease and.. yeah. It was okay, except for the fact that they had two large dogs and three cats whilst they lived in the apartment. So, to put it short, it smelled terrible. I didn't work for the whole month, which looking back.. might not have been the smartest idea. I mean, I worked for the TV show so I was getting a little bit of money, but I wasn't working for Bob Evans so there was no large income source. Though, in my defense, I tried to transfer to the Piqua Bob's that I had already worked at and it would have taken like five secons for the GM to put me on the schedule and he never did. I even called multiple times, so it's not my fault I never got scheduled. So yeah, I'm pretty much out of money, but it will be okay. I'm going to start working at Bob's soon here in Cincinnati, and although it might take me a bit to come up with the funds to start paying back the people I owe (I found out I was going to have to make payments of $399.25 a month while at college, and my art supply costs were much higher than expected. It was a mess.) But yeah. I should be here for the next year. Then I'm not entirely sure where I'll live. Ha!

The Thirtieth

Posted on August 30, 2014 at 6:00 PM Comments comments (0)

Oh wow.. college

Posted on August 29, 2014 at 6:05 PM Comments comments (0)

So a shit ton has happened since the last time I updated. I think the most revelant update for today is the fact I have moved to college. In fact, I have moved three times since I made a post last. I moved to the University of Cincinnati on the 21st, and I just finished my first week of school! I can tell this is going to be a very interesting year. I have a hard time being excited considering all that has happened in the past month, but I guess I'll get into that in another post.

I decided to finally unpack all of the boxes in my dorm room. I was going to wait until my bed was lofted, but I was talking to my RA and she said that it could take a few weeks.. if it even happens. So I guess I am stuck with a bed that I have to jump up to get into, but can't fit anything substantial underneath. Neat.

The Twenty-Ninth

Posted on August 29, 2014 at 6:00 PM Comments comments (0)

Where'd the Spark go?

Posted on January 24, 2014 at 6:05 PM Comments comments (0)

So, let's be honest. I hardly think about this website when I am utterly happy. I mean, why should I? It's already been deeply set as a depression blog. It'd kind of bring me down, unless I were able to gradually brighten it up, which couldn't happen because.. let's be honest, I'm not going to have the time every day to make a post!

Anyway, so where I was going with that was that I was really happy last year. I had some really good friends, and I was making a lot of money. I had fun at work, and enjoyed being there 40 hours a week. When I wasn't at work, you'd bet your bottom that I was with my non co-worker friends hanging out, or doing something out. I also started smoking more than once a day last summer, so that might have had a little bit to do with the sudden happiness, but that happiness is gone now. I pretty much have to force myself to be outwardly happy to the friends that I still see on a daily basis, which the numbers of whom have dwindled over the past couple of months. I hardly ever want to hang out with anyone, I would prefer to not be hanging out with people. I kind of began feeling this way when it had gotten so bad that I was only hanging out with the same two other people every day because they lived down the street and wanted to hang out pretty much every day. This became a bother because it gave me hardly any time to hang out with my other friends, which is why the numbers probably dwindled. Then I got bored with those two friends, but I don't feel close with many of the friends I used to have anymore to hang out with them. Plus I moved, and I don't want to have to drive so far to hang out with them. (Many of them live an hour away now!) I kind of miss that spark I had last summer, though. I want to know how to get it back. It kind of feels like it's gone forever.. but I need that motivation I had back then right now! I have college to start planning for!

The Twenty-Fourth

Posted on January 24, 2014 at 6:00 PM Comments comments (0)

Video One

Posted on January 24, 2014 at 5:55 PM Comments comments (0)

I've had this category called videos for the past couple of years, but I haven't had a video to share.. but now I do! It has to be one of my favorite videos, and I'm not even a One Direction fan!

You need Adobe Flash Player to view this content.

Time flies when you're living!

Posted on January 23, 2014 at 6:05 PM Comments comments (0)

So I realize that I haven't updated this site in about nine months. I mean, it isn't a big deal because nobody except me reads it; it's basically a public journal. As a quick little update on what has happened for me in the past almost-year.. I got my first job! Yeah, I work at a good ol' resturaunt as a host/carry out specialist. I worked in one location for a few months and made some really good friends that I will have for life, I'm sure, but then I moved and had to transfer stores (same company). They're okay, but definitaly not the same thing. I broke up with my girlfriend (yeah, I had one the last time I blogged. Left that little tidbit out, did I? Well it wasn't serious at all. I've been single since though!)  As I mentioned two sentences back, my family had to move because we basically got evicted. Fun times, fun times. We are supposed to move back to the same area soon, but as of right now we're living with my grandparents. It doesn't bother me because I have a friend who lives only a couple of houses down. I'm also never home because I'm either at school (being a Senior!) or work.. or at my friends house. I pretty much only use this place for sleep. Lots of other things happened, but I don't want to make this blog post too long.

On another note, this url turned five years old this year! I opened an account here on webs.com five years ago. Well.. more like five years and three months now. I already have an idea of what I'm going to post for the next two days, so let's hope that maybe I can keep it updated long enough to create a whole new page! Such high goals, I know. ha!

The Twenty-Third.

Posted on January 23, 2014 at 6:00 PM Comments comments (0)

Sort of.. alone?

Posted on April 3, 2013 at 6:05 PM Comments comments (0)

How is it that my best friend is the one person I hardly ever talk to? Why is it that she's the only one I can really talk to, but she's never here? She's the only person I can actually complain to and she would completely understand. At least the old her was able to. Now she seems to be a shell of her past self with no motivation whatsoever. Also, how is it that the one person I talk to the most is the one person I absolutely cannot see being friends with after high school? Without a doubt, I talk to him way more than any other person. However, I can't be me around him. He doesn't have the slightest clue of who I am. He knows who I put myself out to be. I've mistakenly admitted to having depression to him.. but that's definitely only the tip of the iceberg of the real me. I don't like having people know much about me, so I'd like for the people who do know a lot about me to stick around. However, they all seem to either be too caught up in their own lives or just wasted wash ups - people who lost to depression. The point is: I just don't feel right about where my friendships lie. I haven't got anyone to talk to and I feel like I need to have someone to do that with. I've felt this for awhile, and it has become painstakingly clear to me that's how it is. I have a mixture of complete nonchalant feelings for these people, yet have a strong desire to have more with them. It's a weird feeling indeed, very hard to explain. I feel dead inside.